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The Top 7... "That’s a Dude!?" game characters

It’s time for androgyny

Words: Chris Antista, GamesRadar US

“Damn, that girl is smokin... oh... that’s a guy?” Surely, we’ve all fallen victim to such a scenario. Not you, you say! You’re a hardcore gamer with 20/20 vision and a keen eye for Adam’s apples and moose knuckles? Fine! Many of us aren’t as perceptive, so we’ve decided to highlight those brave folks who might not have gotten their sex across the first time around.

This isn’t simply an excuse to point and laugh at the femmy kid, heavens no! We at GamesRadar are well aware there’s no humor to be mined from the transgendered, and that being gay is, most certainly, serious business. Nay, this PC article is a semi-researched, gender-bending celebration! And when need be, we’ve got reasoning, fan art, and crotch shots to back up our claims of confusion. Um... so there.


  
Shades of Lady:
- Semi-exposed midriff
- Absolutely adorable hair
- Cries

Proof of Penis: 
- Kissed a girl once. But anyone of drinking age and access to a Girls Gone Wild commercial, or college, knows girl kissin’ is no longer the sport of men alone.

The Final Fantasy series isn’t exactly known for its masculine protagonists, but Tidus (which we’ve taken to boldy pronouncing as “Tit-us”) was a whole different ball of wax. Early on we see a refusal to part with his half-hoodie while underwater and go shirtless with the rest of his fellow aquatic athletes that can only be described as Mulan-esque.


Above: "Dude, lose the hoodie! You're draggin' the team down!"

But if you skipped the Blitzball portion of his past, as most gamers did, you were presented with a character capable of hormonal moods swings, swerving from giggle puss to crying jag in a Zanarkand minute.


Above: Tidus propositions Steve Carell

 
Shades of Lady:
- A red mane that's the envy of all
- Dons a purdy pink corset

Proof of Penis:
- Kind of a player
- A self-centered prick


Above: Fan Art by ~Kara-pu 

You may not know it to look at him, but Zelos is actually quite the lady's man - and not the other way around. Plus he’s no stranger to spying on women in the shower, and that’s something you’d never catch a lady doing. Think about it...


 

Shades of Lady:
- Candy colored clothing
- A hint of mascara

Proof of Penis:

Above: Neither camel toe, nor moose knuckle - It’s a draw, folks! 

It’s funny, before the recent update, no one bothered questioning the sex of Sega’s favorite preening eunuch. Guy, girl - who cared? He could fly, and that’s all that mattered. But Journey of Dreams made the ambiguity of Nights' gender  slightly more menacing by giving "it" a voice that can only be described as half female and half demon. 

Oh yeah... and he/she, uh, has a tendency to kidnap troubled children in their sleep and ask them to touch him. Her... whatever. This isn’t necessarily isn’t gender specific, but we dare say it’s somewhat inappropriate.



Shades of Lady:

- The prettiest green dress you ever did see!
- Goth-chic haircut

Proof of Penis:
- A voice that could wake the Gods.

Hey, some people can pull off a green tunic, others... not so much. Jiro may look like a young Natalie Portman, but once you hear his booming English voice over, it’s clear this dragon-capable firebrand is all man. Or boy.

 
45 Comments
fionnoh - 2 months 24 days ago
a lot of confusing fan art. you're telling me i shouldnt like it, but...
GamesRadarBrettElston - 2 months 24 days ago
I was seriously confused by Zelos, mainly due to the cover's portrayal of a blond, a brunette and then what I assumed was a sexy redhead. Sigh.
Smash Bro - 2 months 24 days ago
Birdo will always disturb me... But, if "it" really is a "he", that would make "him" gaming's first unofficial transvestite/crossdresser, wouldn't it?

-By the way, I'm glad we can now post on the articles themselves. The idea was LONG overdue.
ClusterShart - 2 months 24 days ago
Chris Antista is a guy?
Cryose - 2 months 24 days ago
It's about time someone sheds a little light on the whole Birdo mystery.

Oh, and is it just me, or is it hard to tell if the main character from Lost Odyssey is a girl or guy?
iluvmyDS - 2 months 24 days ago
Yoshi DOES love teh cockadoodledoo.
Cel-Shaded - 2 months 24 days ago
All the main characters in Final Fantasy look like a chick.
NintendoNerd655 - 2 months 24 days ago
Zelos is the only one where I was like, holy sh1t, that's a guy??? Good god, I'm like "now I know what it means to be accidentaly gay."

PS-love the commenting system ^_^

-Phazon
Holy Diver - 2 months 24 days ago
"Especially when males lusting after Ms. Pac-Man, Minnie Mouse and Smurfette realized their heterosexuality hinged on something so flimsy as a hair accessory."

Please tell me you were not one of those males
GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - 2 months 24 days ago
The character of Chris Antista was actually inspired by Jiro in Blue Dragon. Now you know!
cog114 - 2 months 23 days ago
i only found out nights was not a girl until i read an article about the game :/
GamesRadarJoeMcNeilly - 2 months 23 days ago
http://www.gamesradar.com/f/boogie-nights/a-2008012416533650008
Conradical126 - 2 months 23 days ago
dude, I can't believe Nights is an effing guy :[
ELpork - 2 months 23 days ago
Bridget had me confused there for a moment.
ndubya2001 - 2 months 23 days ago
Zelos
ndubya2001 - 2 months 23 days ago
Zelos suprised me.

And i still have a hard time believing Birdo to be a guy. I know he is but...
zabu_san - 2 months 23 days ago
Zelos definitely surprised me and had me scratching me noggin...

But Bridget blew me away...!!! I had to reread the story repeatedly for my head to grasp it... OMG!!!
marcusfenix22 - 2 months 23 days ago
What the fuck?How are birdo and bridget men?
marcusfenix22 - 2 months 23 days ago
Ah, now i know why bridget looks like a women, funny story
Buga15 - 2 months 23 days ago
i have a penis and that's all that matter!

*poor steve carrel
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